I was directed to write about my frustrations today so that it would help me release them. Do you want to know what is causing me gray hair? Yes, these gray pieces of hair on top of my head that need to be colored, money. I have no money to get my hair colored. Why? you might ask yourself. Well long story short, I was not emotionally strong enough three years ago when I went through my divorce to fight for my half of the business. My ex husband and his friends bullied me into signing the divorce and not fighting for the business. "Give him the business and you will guarantee yourself a paycheck every month." He said to me. I was so emotionally beaten up by the fact that my life that I had known was no longer and it was out of my control. When your husband leaves you for another woman, it does something to your self-esteem. I should have been this mad back then but I was too busy crying and grieving my loss. I should have fought. I should have taken it all. At least that way I would have some control over the management of the business wealth. No, I just hope and pray that my ex will send me the money for child support and alimony that is court ordered. He is more full of excuses than anything. I am so sick of being patient and feeling bad for him. I have been driven to the point of hating him and everything that his fake ass stands for. He puts on an image for his family and friends but this is the same man that would rather drink, party and entertain friends instead of sending the money that I need to feed the kids, buy them clothes and pay for all the extras such as car insurance and soccer fees. I am tired of being the only one that worries about all of this. I hate him. I never thought that I would use such strong words but I do. I hate Luis Velez and everything his fake ass stands for. The only good that came out of him are my four beautiful children. I have sacrificed so much for them and people give him credit because they don't know what a deadbeat dad he is.
I'm tired.
I'm overwhelmingly tired and sad.
Dear Heavenly father, I release these frustrations to you. Please help me. Please help me.
Thank you for all that you have blessed me with.